Against the admonition of my friend, I disclosed to my crush who has also been my friend for two years that I like him. She had warned me that this honesty would entertain a reality I was unprepared for. She wasn’t lying! In my defence, a drunken mouth reveals what the sober heart conceals. Prior to that, we simply went out and enjoyed each other’s company.
Should I tell you how it went? It was equally embarrassing as surprising- let’s discuss the positive side first. He indirectly or directly said it was mutual (I was intoxicated). Huh?! He’d never given me a micro hint in the least when I was certain he had seen me blush countless times. But with him, zilch I tell you!
The horribly embarrassing part was when I accidentally referred to his girlfriend by the alias my friends and I use and his response was “Who’s that?”. That’s when I realized I hadn’t called her by her name. As if not enough, I tried to explain and disclosed more than I should have; like when I intentionally ignored his calls or cancelled plans.
Now, we´re three months past that and I´m having random morning calls. The first time this happened, I stared at my phone until it stopped ringing. He isn´t the one to call and it didn´t feel like an emergency. Besides, he could say it in a text which would give me time to be witty. Then, he called once more. Sure, I answered and it was not an emergency, he was just checking in.
These calls have become as frequent as three times minimum this week. His calls are as random as they´re dreadful. I hear his voice and it gives me the sweetest feeling ever. He is a soft, slow speaker and I love listening to him. Hours later, I still daydream of him when I’m already just trying to dismiss how I feel about him.
Perhaps, what is worst than acknowledging how I feel about him is the fact that he is not single.